If you struggle with self-esteem and lack self confidence in professional or personal scenarios, it can be very useful to read and utilise aspects of unconscious body language and quietly, with no embarrassment, turn it to your advantage. If you are unclear about the way in which someone is responding to you, you will gain a good understanding of their demeanour by correctly interpreting their body language. Alternatively, in the event you aim to convey a specific attribute or personality trait, then by using your own body language it is possible to help to influence how other individuals see you, hopefully in a positive light - without having to place quite to much emphasis on that which you say!

The following simple summary is designed to give a broad breakdown of some of the more obvious elements of body language:
Eyes And Eye brows - The position and movement of your eyebrows are some of the most observed elements whenever you speak to a person face-to-face. A classic illustration on body language that transmits an apprehensive occurs when you have your eyebrows converging in the middle, as with frowning. Even though you talk softly and slowly, a person that you are talking with might think that you’re almost about to get angry.

Lips - Another part of the body that’s usually interpreted for the likely mood of a person is the mouth area. A retracted lower lip which is almost bit by the upper teeth generally is a sign that the individual is holding back and awaiting affirmation or action from the other person. A retracted upper lip that’s bit by the lower teeth usually indicates a person that is holding back and keeping mixed responses, as with a reaction to the message being conveyed by the other. Such small movements of the lips have considerable significance to the person seeing them and might be the basis either to continue or halt the communication process.

Extremities - The arms and legs are regarded as responsible for a bigger concept of body language, as these are more profound and have a more substantial impact. Crossing the arms over the chest area usually suggests doubt, suspicions, impatience, or closed-mindedness. In addition to the body resting on one leg and having the other stepped away and set at an angle, the whole concept of this unwelcoming look is heightened. Examples on body language could be remedied with appropriate signals by practicing and internalizing the way you would probably feel should you be the one viewing those actions you are carrying out. Actions usually speak louder than words, so it’s best to continually be conscious of your gestures and movements.

Creating a “Steeple” with Your Hands - This is often used in superior/subordinate interactions. It can demonstrate confidence and a ‘know-it-all’ attitude. There are 2 variations:
1. The elevated steeple - when the individual is talking, expressing their opinion
2. The lowered steeple - when the individual is listening
The steeples ought to be interpreted along with other signs. If they are preceded by positive body language, such as talking with palms open and leaning forward, then the steeple signifies a positive conclusion is probable. If it follows negative signals, such as legs crossed and arms folded, then the outcome is likely to be negative.

Palm gripping - Keeping your head up high, chin out and one palm gripping the other hand behind your back. That is a confidence/superiority position. You’ve got your stomach, heart and throat regions totally exposed and that is an subconscious act of fearlessness. When you are in stressful situation assuming this stance will help calm you down and control the situation.

Arms crossed - This is a negative or defensive position. Almost all people will assume this position if they disagree with the information they are hearing. Regardless of whether someone is agreeing with you, if their arms are crossed they’ll have a negative attitude towards you. Their negative attitude will continue until they’ve uncrossed their arms, after they have done this you’ll have a better opportunity of bringing them round to your perspective.

Mirroring positions - You frequently see two individuals conversing, standing in a similar pose. This suggests that they are in agreement with one another, that they like each other. If one uncrosses their arms, the other one will do exactly the same. If one stands with one foot frontward, the other will assume the same position. To establish a rapport with someone, mirror their poses, or even their breathing - this tends to have the effect of relaxing them and giving them a non-verbal sign that you are both thinking along the same lines.

Body positioning
The simplest way to tell whether the person you’re speaking with is enjoying the conversation: the person is standing facing you with their entire body and feet pointing in your direction and replicating your positions.

The tell-tale signals that a person’s feeling awkward or not enjoying the conversation: the person’s head is turned towards you and seems to be engaged in the conversation - smiling, nodding etc, however their body and feet are pointing away from you. If someone’s body is averted from you it’s going to be facing the place where they’d rather be. When they are pointed towards some other person or the exit then it’s time for you to terminate the dialogue or do something else to attract their full attention.

If you find these very brief pointers to be helpful it is recommended you perhaps look into body language in more detail and how it can turn into a useful tool to build self-confidence.

John Sproson works as a small business advisor and tutor to professional business people as well as in organisational teams. He writes extensively online and blogs on how to build self confidence at work and utilizes a solution focussed method to create confident relationships.

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