For whatever reason I would seemingly become confrontational and aggressive over the simplest of things. I would often struggle to comprehend why a person could be so nasty to me and would, I suppose, want to punish them in my own way. I wanted to teach them a lesson which would help them to mend their ways. The only way I could think of responding was by shouting at them, threatening them or by using violence against them.

Now before I continue I would like to make it clear that I do not work within the “anger management industry”; I personally am involved with various projects to do with offering cheap calls; offering people advice regarding becoming a foster carer and I also run a stammering therapy course.

I will give you an example of a situation where a person basically cheated me out of a large sum of money. I was looking at turning my front garden into a driveway and I had a number of people around to the house, all of which gave me a quote for the work.

I decided to accept a quote from John who seemed a very nice and trustworthy man. Him and his team spent a couple of days laying the drive during which I was keeping them well supplied with foods and drinks, we all got on very well.

He advised me not to park my car on the new drive for a few days to let it settle and become hardened. I waited a week and then drove my car onto the new driveway. To my horror the driveway dipped and I later found out from a friend that they had not put any hardcore (I think that is what it is called) down.

I tried to contact John but he did not answer his phone, I went round to see him and he would not answer his door. I became more and more angry and started to plan my revenge.

Walking away

I had many options through the courts which I could and did pursue. It was a lengthy process and John basically did not have any money to repay me despite eventually admitting responsibility.

It is far from easy but I am now able to turn the other cheek and to walk away from any potential trouble - there are times however when I feel that a cetain person deserves a bit of a slap. This is not just from the situation above but from any similar event.

When me wife annoys me, I will just walk away to compose myself. I was once told to count to ten which is certainly a good idea. Being angry, like the way I always used to be, is not good for my health and causes me to become stressed, to become depressed and to lose sleep.

I now see people as apples in a bucket. Three out of these ten apples will be “bad apples”. Instead of feeling angry at the rotten apples, I feel sorry for them.

I am now some what calmer than I once was; I have realised that I should not be the one to act as judge and jury - these people’s time will come. At this stage these people will have nowhere to hide.

Living life this way is far easier for me and I only wish I had had this approach and form of anger management technique, years ago.

Technorati Tags: , , , ,