If you’re someone with big dreams (like publishing a book or inventing a product or becoming financially free), chances are, that there are people in your circle of influence who love to tell you that you can’t possibly accomplish said dream for any one of a hundred reasons - all of which probably apply much more to them than you. However, even if you don’t take it to heart, many times you still have to work through the garbage their words leave you with. Dream stealing isn’t cool and most times, those people don’t realize how detrimental their words of wisdom really are to someone else’s self-esteem and life’s dreams.

My great uncle George was a school teacher early in the last century in a small town in Ohio. He was a respected school teacher, everybody said as much, except for one thing… he chewed tobacco. And he was bold about how much he chewed it. He received complaints about it and was taken to task for it plenty of times.

Finally, a good friend of his took him aside and said, “If you just quit chewing tobacco, they’d stop complaining about you.”

To which uncle George replied, “I doubt it. If I quit chewing it, they’ll just find something else to complain about and it could be something I would care if they complained about. I don’t give two-hoots about chewing tobacco, they can criticize my chewing tobacco all they please. If I give them something obvious to take aim at, then they’ll never find time to attack the things that really would trouble me, like my character.”

This is not an article that is pro-tobacco, just to be clear on that one. However, in the 20’s that wasn’t near as taboo as it is today. But the point is, that uncle George chose an outrageous habit and let it take the brunt of the criticism that came his way. The behaviour kept attention deflected from his real agenda, that was to teach the kids the best he could. No one interfered with him about his career and he was considered a great, great teacher. He still teaches us.

If you have big plans you’re working to accomplish, and you find those plans are the topic of all the conversation around you, and that conversation is detrimental to your self-esteem or those voices keep running in your head when you’re working on your dream, then find an outrageous bone to throw into the mix.

Change your hairstyle, grow a rat-tail, peirce something, get a tattoo (henna is fine), take up a controversial hobby, find a trashy TV show to become a very vocal fan of, buy an exotic pet, buy clashing pillows or rug for the living room. Do something – anything (fair and legal) that will take focus off of what you need to work on and put their focus on something frivolous and carefree – that you actually have no emotional attachment to whatsoever. It will be interesting. It will keep the conversation lively and it will keep the dream stealers from talking smack about your dream!

 

Maslow said that “You need to be independent of the good opinion of others.” That is totally correct. But, once something has been said, it is impossible to unsay it. If that something is detrimental to you or your dream, then it is something that you have to heal from. This technique will help short-circuit that whole problem. Give those people in your life something other than your dreams to pick on!

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