No one likes them. They hit us out of nowhere when we least expect it. One minute we’re whistling a happy tune and the next we’re crawling home crying and blaming our mothers wanting to quit our jobs and see if the local Burger Barn is still hiring. As humans, we all have tough days. We all screw up.

Like the time I thought it would be fun to make my own jumpsuit in home economics and wear it to high school. It fell apart by lunch and I had to face the horrible shame of my classmates seeing that I was wearing Tuesday’s underwear on Wednesday. Or the time I faxed a “snippy” reply about a client to someone within the company, and it got back to the client. Or the time that I put the “confidential” proposals for two important projects in the wrong envelopes. Or the time I ran up to the podium after the rubber chicken dinner and did a forty-five minute speech with spinach in my teeth.. When you’re a motivational speaker like me, you have bad days just like everyone else, only your terrible days take place on a platform before large numbers of people. Makes you wonder why most people’s biggest fear is public speaking, doesn’t it?

Bluster as much as you like to the contrary, but we all make mistakes. Occassionally, we’re even at fault. Gasp. I know – I said it out loud. We are not perfect. Occasionally we mess up. I used to have a tried and true technique of coping with my slips – lash out at anyone handy, eat my weight in chocolate, shift the blame at light speed, and obsess over the scenario, loose sleep - assuring that I was programmed to to make the same mistake all over again.. This self-destructive behavior did little for my health, self-esteem, or for how people I wanted to influence perceived me. You can argue that no one is paying attention to you and your behavior, but here you’d be dead wrong.. People are always watching.  This is particularly true if you hold a position of leadership.. We are paying very close attention to how you deal with your mistakes.

I finally wised up, and came up with a method to handle my failures.. Even though I have failures in different facets of my life, this methodoloy works in all situations..

1.Appraise the Scenario
Put your ego aside and take an unbiased look at what occurred and how you fit in.. Could the situation been avoided all together? Has this happened to you before? Should you have learned this lesson already? Was this your fault?
2.Accept Responsibility
Don’t blame. Don’t explain why. Don’t respond with “But I…” This is going to be extremely tough because we’re wired from childhood to look for a way to shift the blame. You’ll have to take my word on this one - be the bigger person. Accept responsibility for what happened.
3.Apologize
Nothing is as surprising or goes further than a simple apology.. A sincere apology can bring down barriers..
4.Correct It
Fix it privided you can. Don’t make it worse. Correct it. Fix the situation or the problem that exists. This isn’t about sentiments. This is about solving the problem. Divide emotions from what needs to be done.
5.Learn Your Lesson
What element of this could you eliminate? Prepare for similar problems in the future and put a process in place to prevent them..
6.Go Easy on Yourself
So you messed up. Get over it. Did you really think you were without fault?
7.Let it go
Stop discussing it.. To your co-workers, friends, family, YOURSELF. Never again. . Let it go. Totally. Adios. When it creeps back in shock yourself. At some point you won’t think about it any longer.
8.Laugh
Eventually it will be hilarious. Laugh at failure. Then it won’t have influence over you any more. And those are the steps I go through when I screw up. I know them by heart. If they’re wrong then I’m sorry. See this as another mess up.

Technorati Tags: , ,